Annoyed Librarian
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Inside Annoyed Librarian

Annoyed Librarian Exposes Self, Ends Blog

The Annoyed Librarian has been around about three years now, and in that short time has moved from cranky countercultural library blog to slightly less cranky countercultural blog that somehow managed to get itself hosted by a mainstream library publication. On the way it won all sorts of contests and generally proved it’s the absolutely best library blog in the entire world. Not that the competition is very stiff, but still it’s been an honor.

And now it’s time to expose the AL and end on a high note.  After all, when the AL looks upon the breadth of her domain, she weeps, for there are no more worlds to conquer. That, and I’m trying to fulfill the responsibilities of my intervention.

Before my demise, I just want to offer a quick apology to some of my foils over the years.

First, the Regressive Librarians. You guys have been such easy targets and awful sports over the years that I’d almost lost my will to poke fun at your insubstantial rants and your irritating shenanigans until recently, when you showed me yet again why every thinking librarian should oppose you. To all of you, I want to say, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re so humorless and illogical. It must be difficult for you getting through the day.

Then there are the Twopointopians, oh ye of Library Five-O and Library Spa 2.0 fame. You’re probably all at Computers in Libraries this week indulging in a collective twopointopian circle stimulation, else I’d gather you all together round the fetching bosom of the AL and give you a great big old Annoyed Librarian hug. You deserve it for maintaining your cheery, positive, dissimulating demeanor over the years. The way you keep up the pretense that it’s all about libraries and their users, when really you just want to get paid to play around with computers and social software is amazing. I’ll have to try that sometimes. To you, I just want to say I’m sorry for exposing your real motives to everyone. Before I came along, your secret was completely safe. No one had a clue. Really.

And speaking of librarians who just want to get paid to sit around and play with themselves, we mustn’t forget the Gamey Librarians. I should feel bad about making fun of them. They’re such innocent, childlike creatures. They remind me of the Eloi to the Regressive Librarians’ Morlocks, gamboling throughout the library dancing and singing. I should feel bad, but I don’t. Still, I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable over the years with my criticisms of your useless and distracting forays into videogaming in libraries. Hopefully, you can forgive me one day, maybe when you grow up and look at the young librarians around you insisting that what librarians really need to do all day is sit around with earphones on listening to their iPods and ignoring the rest of the world, because that’s what the users do!

Then there are the frustrated trendsetters, or frustys. All twopointopians are frustys, but not all frusties are twopointopians. Frustys are all the people who want to make radical changes and names for themselves, all at the same time and all on the backs of the rest of us. I’m terribly sorry if I’ve frustrated your attempts to destroy my professional life by exposing your folly.

Who else is there? There are so many I’ve lost count. Oh yes, all you out there who have posted Library Jobs that Suck, especially those of you who have advertised to create pools of part-time librarians who need an MLS and lots of experience but who may or may not ever get a chance to work in your crappy, exploitative libraries. I’m sorry that you’re probably going to burn in hell for all eternity, but I should tell you, it’s not to late to reform.

What about all the people who wooed students into MLS programs with the promise that there would be plenty of jobs, you know, because the current librarians will all be retired within the next forty years? I’m sorry for those of you who might have been deluded enough to believe those tales.

Since I can’t be bothered to remember all my nemeses over the years, I’ll just offer a general apology to everyone. I’m sorry you can’t be the Annoyed Librarian.

Speaking of the Annoyed Librarian, I think now that it’s all over it’s finally time I came clean about my true identity. After all, some of you are just dying to know, so I’ll tell you. I’m who you always thought I was. Really, I am. I’m that woman who writes that well known blog. And I’m that guy that wrote that thing about the AL. And that angry librarian on the ALA Council. And that techie guy who you think might just be putting you on. And that person who works for that big organization and seems to have some inside knowledge. And the librarian who writes that snarky blog who’s kind of funny sometimes. And the librarian who was president of that big association. And that one you heard give that talk that dismissed your pretensions as gibberish. And the guy who wrote those scathing articles about librarianship a few years ago. And all the other candidates for the AL that I’ve heard. I’m all of them, and many more. That’s the problem with the AL. You think you see the Annoyed Librarian, but when you try to grasp her she disappears in a puff of smoke. You smash her down in one place, and she reappears in another. The Annoyed Librarian is legion.

And now, goodbye, cruel world.

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Comments

  1. Dr. Pepper says:

    APRIL FOOLS!
    almost had me.

  2. John Jackson says:

    I’m Spartacus!

  3. John Berry says:

    Come on, we all know that AL is a group of 39 disgruntled, neglected librarians, and when any one of them posts on the AL blog, the other 38 always comment.

  4. whoever says:

    I don’t think “she” is an actual woman. I think it’s a guy.

  5. Cynic says:

    I think Mr. Kat IS the annoyed librarian :p

  6. Auntie Nanuuq says:

    By the second paragraph I “Got It” Happy Fool’s day to you too!

  7. TLQ says:

    **yawn**

  8. Hero says:

    Keep speaking for the little guy. And making me laugh my a.ss off.

  9. TLR says:

    Sadly, the AL never speaks for the little guy. Especially after selling out to the LJ.

    Suck down those martinis.

    Cheers!

  10. Verbal says:

    And the AL is revealed to be … Keyser Soze! “Keaton always said, “I don’t believe in Dewey, but I’m afraid of him.” Well I believe in Dewey, and the only thing that scares me is the Annoying Librarian.”

  11. Your Friendly Neighborhood Librarian says:

    “You smash her down in one place, and she reappears in another.” — Good lord! AL is the ultimate librarian whack-a-mole game! And you were dissin’ the gamey librarians? Shame on you, thou hippocrite!

  12. sidney says:

    If the AL spoke only for little people, that would leave out a lot of librarians. Big people need representation, too.

  13. Auntie Nanuuq says:

    Come on folks, AL speaks for……………

    AL

  14. Mr. Kat says:

    I’d have to be a librarian first. Apparently working in the library for two years doing all the grudge work and the heavy lifting doesn’t count!! And neither does merely having an MLS! ;)

  15. Dan Kleinman of SafeLibraries.org says:

    Goodbye, cruel world
    I’m leaving you today
    Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

    Goodbye, all you people
    There’s nothing you can say
    To make me change my mind
    Goodbye

  16. Vegans For Meat/Soren Faust says:

    The best thing, hands down, about the AL is that she has consistently and for the right reasons pissed other librarians off—confounded them, offended them—instigating the funny however trite criticisms oft made here, such as, “shame on you, AL,” or “yawn,” as well as brought on the more serious upheavals in some corners of the library world as with the publication of her essays in the Journal of Access Services

    And, it’s not the offense to the thin-skinned librarians, in and of itself, that has me thrilled, because some things justify offense and criticism—no, what’s so thrilling is the fact that this blog does not, and never has, taken itself seriously (how could it have, when in fact, it is those who take themselves so seriously who are the ones it targets and continually ensnares to make fools of themselves every time by means of its hilarious rhetoric, honestly, the AL loves you all!, you’ve been good to her. You are her bread and butter.)

    It is true that all humor has its roots in seriousness, and the AL does address serious topics associated with librarianship, but unlike the dour, ultra-serious, rigid librarians of the PLG, the happy 2.0er’s and the cross ALA Councilors she has presented these issues in a much palatable and thought-provoking way. I know this is an April Fools joke on the part of the AL, but I think if she left now, she would be leaving with a mission accomplished.

  17. Vegans For Meat/Soren Faust says:

    The best thing, hands down, about the AL is that she has consistently and for the right reasons pissed other librarians off—confounded them, offended them—instigating the funny however trite criticisms oft made here, such as, “shame on you, AL,” or “yawn,” as well as brought on the more serious upheavals in some corners of the library world as with the publication of her essays in the Journal of Access Services

    And, it’s not the offense to the thin-skinned librarians, in and of itself, that has me thrilled, because some things justify offense and criticism—no, what’s so thrilling is the fact that this blog does not, and never has, taken itself seriously (how could it have, when in fact, it is those who take themselves so seriously who are the ones it targets and continually ensnares to make fools of themselves every time by means of its hilarious rhetoric, honestly, the AL loves you all!, you’ve been good to her. You are her bread and butter.)

    It is true that all humor has its roots in seriousness, and the AL does address serious topics associated with librarianship, but unlike the dour, ultra-serious, rigid librarians of the PLG, the happy 2.0er’s and the cross ALA Councilors she has presented these issues in a much palatable and thought-provoking way. I know this is an April Fools joke on the part of the AL, but I think if she left now, she would be leaving with a mission accomplished.

  18. hathead says:

    where is the link to the image of you exposing yourself? i need to know…

  19. BTZ says:

    Like all devil advocate curmudgeons, the AL never offers solutions and scoffs at anyone who attempts to.

    It is good to be the king.

  20. Hero says:

    TLR said: “Sadly, the AL never speaks for the little guy. Especially after selling out to the LJ. Suck down those martinis. Cheers!”

    Hey, I drink martinis. Does that mean I’m not a little guy? Sweet! Also, Verbal, you crack me up!

  21. CVA says:

    I have met many annoying librarians, and you sir, Mr. AL are not one of them.

  22. Original Library Cynic says:

    “What about all the people who wooed students into MLS programs with the promise that there would be plenty of jobs, you know, because the current librarians will all be retired within the next forty years? I’m sorry for those of you who might have been deluded enough to believe those tales.” I’d like to think there’s a special place in hell for those who knowingly sold this yarn, along with used car and aluminum siding salesmen, sub-prime mortgage agents, certain execs with AIG and Bernie Madoff.
    That these people dare consider themselves true members of “academia”, deserving the respect of same, boggles the mind.

  23. Morse says:

    How much has the AL sold out? Maybe a little less snarky, but the targets still seem to be the same. Hell, she even made fun of the LJ movers and shakers.

  24. IAG says:

    Taking money for this kind of column is selling out. You will never see the AL be really controversial anymore.

    Sad.

  25. Kim says:

    Well, the April 1st bit is if she really has decided to leave, and of course we think it’s a joke. It would be too bad to lose this often funny, sometimes true, and always interesting voice, but perhaps she really has had her run and has nothing more to add. If this is the case, for me it’s been an unfortunately brief readership. It has, however, been an enjoyable one.

  26. HZF says:

    Stop stroking the AL’s ego. His/her head rivals that of Barry Bonds.

  27. Anonymous says:

    AL isn’t a real person. It’s a created character with a big ego.

  28. YQV says:

    Actually, AL is an ego that created a character.

  29. Picard says:

    I have a strange urge to watch the ending of Grapes of Wrath again

  30. FM says:

    I’ve been following your blog of and on for several months. After reading this humorous post, I have become your fan, AL. As a fellow blogger (and I won’t reveal my identity), can I be a guest writer, pretty please? I must confess some traits of libraries, librarians etc. do annoy me.

  31. FM says:

    I’ve been following your blog of and on for several months. After reading this humorous post, I have become your fan, AL. As a fellow blogger (and I won’t reveal my identity), can I be a guest writer, pretty please? I must confess some traits of libraries, librarians etc. do annoy me.