Annoyed Librarian
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A Vote for Me is a Vote for Change!

Those ALA members amongst you probably know that it’s ALA election season. We’re all on the edge of our seats waiting for the results, because there’s nothing more important for the future of the organization, nay, the future of the entire profession, than the results of the latest ALA election. So you should all vote, if not for me, then at least for the children.

Because I think the leadership within the ALA is of vital importance to us all, I would like to offer my services. I offer to run as a write-in candidate for the highly coveted office of ALA President, mainly because I want to take advantage of the chauffeur, ALA Secret Police protection, and lifelong pension that come with the position.

Why should you vote for me? Because a vote for the Annoyed Librarian means a vote for change! Voting for the other candidates means change as well, sort of by definition, but not as much change as a vote for me would, and change is the most important thing in politics, because the masses of librarians want nothing more than to be entertained with an endless series of glittering and insubstantial changes. That might just be the neophile twopointopians, but they can vote for me, too. Either way, it keeps us from being bored by our jobs.

A vote for me also means a vote for progress! We would move forward into the future! The future is exciting! I love the future! I better, because that’s all we have.

Do I have any campaign promises? You bet I do! The ALA President has a lot of power, and thus has a great chance of keeping promises. After all, the President leads the organization for an entire year! Well, sort of. There are permanent people at ALA headquarters who do the real work. But the ALA President gets to talk to those people at any time and make demands! I promise that I, if elected, will make demands. Frequent demands.

I also promise that I will do everything in my ability to advance whatever agenda you might have. Really. Whatever it is, I’m for it (just disregard the blog motto for these purposes).

My first move as President will be to use the ALA endowment to bring every ALA member to Chicago free of charge for a great big librarian blowout! Wait, I might have phrased that wrong, since the fraction of ALA members who aren’t "great big" librarians can come, too. I want everybody there!

After the ALA is completely broke, I’ll recommend its dissolution.

What will we all do for fun then? How will we justify getting together for drinks and dinners with our library confreres? I’m thinking some sort of "unconference." Those things look promising for the future, though now I’m thinking a library barcamp is more my speed.

You ALA members need to go vote, and don’t forget to write me in for President. Here’s my biographical information, just in case you want it:

Name: Annoyed Librarian. Degrees and Certificates: MLS: Unnamed University, 20c; PhD: Arts & Sciences, Unnamed University, 20c;  BA: Liberal Arts, Unnamed College, 20c. Current position: Professional Librarian and Blogger. Previous position: Professional Librarian and Amateur Blogger. ALA Activities: Committees, lots of committees. And a few elected offices. And more committees. Offices Held: Wouldn’t you like to know. Honors and Awards: Best Library Blog in the Universe: 2007. Most Irritating Library Blogger: 2006-2009. Accomplishments: Lots of accomplishments, mainly of the ineffectual, library-related variety. ALA Member Since: Forever. Professional Concerns: Whatever you think is interesting. The Annoyed Librarian is a screen onto which to project your library fantasies.

Under my real name, I just might be running for ALA Council. Just in case I am, be sure to vote for the person who seems closest to me.

Remember, ALA is based in Chicago, so vote early and often!

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Comments

  1. RJO says:

    Vote for me for ALA president. I have never belonged to the organization, I don’t work in academia, I don’t work in a public library (it is a small operation) so I would bring a totally unbiased outlook to the position.

    Vote for complete change, vote for me.

  2. Shake N Bake says:

    Vote for me:

    I hate committee meetings, I make decisions without thinking everything has to be perfect, I don’t attend every single library event offered by my library that is flooded with librarians anyway, I care about what our users want and ask them and then make immediate changes (versus waiting a year), I don’t throw around terms like transformational times or ubiquitous or blended librarianship all of the time, I don’t think faculty members are right all of the time, and I don’t see the point of having two conferences every year for the same organization.

  3. Zapgun says:

    Vote for me and I will change two policies:

    1. Conventions must be held in interesting places. No more Anaheim or Orlando bullshit. Hawaii, Paris, Cancun, NYC, etc.

    2. No meetings or presentations before 10am or after 5pm.

    I will then promptly resign.

    I’ll do the same for SLA if given the chance.

  4. Snarky says:

    No we can’t.

  5. XPU says:

    Don’t vote for anyone.

    Let the organization wither and die. It would be the best thing the ALA could do for the world.

    The dissolution of the ALA would eliminate global warming, bring about world peace, and bring the Cubs a World Series Championship.

    Let’s get rid of this organization for the kids, please.

  6. Cubs Fan says:

    XPU – you had me at the Cubs winning a World Series – I will promptly do nothing, and do it with style.

  7. Real Liberrian says:

    Vote for me and EVERYBODY gets to be an officer or committee member of something in the ALA (if it will help you get local funding to come to national meetings after the endowment blow-out).

  8. Real Madrid says:

    Vote for me. All travel to conferences will be free and there will be no registration fees thanks to ALA supported video poker machines installed in libraries (and your gate counts will go up too!).

  9. NFK says:

    Don’t vote for any of the above.

    I am the only real choice and I will give you exactly what you fantasize the most about when you think of a librarian at a conference.

  10. Dances With Books says:

    I had no idea AL had a doctorate. All this time we should have been addressing her as “Dr. AL, or would it Dr. Annoyed Librarian?”

    Anyhow, you certainly would have my vote, except I dropped my membership in that big overbloated albatross ages ago. As far as I am concerned, if it were to go away, I would not really miss it. In the event that you do win and do send for all of us to go there, I will be there, if nothing else than to witness history in the making (ALA going broke and a big librarian gathering for cocktails. What is not to like?).

  11. Seethelibraryfrommyhouse says:

    What’s the difference between the Annoyed Librarian and a pit bull? Uh, can I get back to you on that?

  12. The UnWaltCrawford says:

    Vote for me. I’ll get rid of the ALA even faster than that XPU guy up there.

    I’ll sign an executive order…and then I’ll have a brewski.

  13. ASX says:

    Vote for me.

    I am unemployed and willing to work for librarian wages.

  14. Hero says:

    “The dissolution of the ALA would eliminate global warming, bring about world peace, and bring the Cubs a World Series Championship.” ~XPU

    From you lips to God’s ear!

  15. Auntie Nanuuq says:


    “What’s the difference between the Annoyed Librarian and a pit bull?” AL is (usually) Funny, AL is Intelligent, AL Thinks for Herself, AL makes some really good observations (most of the time), AL looks better in a spiked leather collar, AL obviously doesn’t need a master, AL doesn’t bite without reason, AL drinks Martinis….the list is endless. As for ALA, I have never been a member, I Never will be…considering my salary, it’s so not worth it. As for being ALA president, you get to go to a SLIS graduation ceremony, make a speech & “hood” the graduates wearing tacky clothes, white, brown & orange striped socks, and sensible brown shoes.

  16. NeverWanted2B says:

    AL, If I vote for you, could you do something about all the blowhards on the ALA Council list. I was subscribed to it once – no I was not on Council, After about two weeks of so much irrelevant nonsense and petty tirades, I set it to “nomail”. Then I just never missed it enough to change it back.

  17. XPU says:

    Just remember, if you vote for AL and not me you are voting for death to polar bears, unbridled nuclear war, and continued woes at Wrigley.