Okay, let’s see if we can get this blog going again. My retirement has been great fun, but now I’m eager to "leap into the fray"!
You what annoys me? Those people who complain about problems all the time but never offer any solutions! I have a solution to this problem, though. They should just shut their great bigpieholes. Am I right?
We see librarians like this all the time. Just take a look at those unemployed librarians complaining all the time about not having a job. They think they were lied to or something. Well, maybe they were, but that’s just water under the bridge.
You know what, though? I have a solution to that problem. If you don’t like being unemployed, get a job! There are plenty of jobs around. You could be the Director of the Tallahatchie County Libraries in Charleston, Mississippi for $28,000 a year. If you haven’t applied to that job and been rejected, you shouldn’t complain so much. An added perk to employment would be having an excuse to say "Tallahatchie" a lot.
And what about those people complaining about Internet pornography in public libraries? There’s an easy solution to that one: stop going to public libraries! They seem to think librarians should do something about it, but they don’t realize that librarians like pornography. That’s why there’s so much librarian porn out there. Those naked women in buns and glasses with shelves of books behind them are real librarians, so deal with it.
Who else is always complaining…let’s see…I saw someone the other day complaining about Ebsco. You don’t like Ebsco? So don’t buy stuff from Ebsco! That solves that problem.
I also get annoyed by librarians who are negative instead of being positive and cheery all the time. Those negative nellies haven’t realized that if you smile the world smiles with you, and that if you just direct your feet to the sunny side of the street and never worry, then you can be happy.
The solution to that problem? Xanax! It worked for me! It’s worked for lots of librarians, and now they’re sunny and happy and grin at us a lot, which makes us sunnier and happier.
I saw a talk recently that really inspired me. The person said to encourage your heart. And follow your values. And a few other things I don’t remember because I was too teary-eyed with inspiration to jot them down.
Here’s a life lesson for you that will take you a lot further than being negative and stuff all the time. Be positive! As a very wise person once said, there are no problems, only opportunities for solutions. Keep that in mind and maybe you won’t annoy me so much.