Ahh, it’s National Library Week again. It’s bad enough having yet another fake holiday, but at least my mother or father or administrative assistant won’t be expecting a card, which is good because I’ve been too busy celebrating NLW to dispatch my administrative assistant to buy herself a card and some chocolate.
This year’s theme is "Communists thrive @ your library," which really shows the nurturing spirit of the library, because communists don’t tend to thrive in most places but they always do well @ your library.
And what a time it’s been. Because we at the Annoyed Librarian Flea Libary know that libraries are fun, essential, heavily used centers of the community, we felt it absolutely necessary to spend a lot of money promoting libraries in our community. We figured, what the heck. We’re a bit strapped for cash, but there’s a library-related tax referendum coming up and how would people know they needed to vote "Yes!" to libraries if we didn’t blow their money on parties to celebrate how great we are and how communists thrive there.
To describe the mood this week, the word carnivale comes to mind. We’ve all been having such fun, because there’s nowhere more fun than the library.
There were so many great ideas offered by the ALA to celebrate, we didn’t know where to start. The "job search class" sounded a little depressing, because we don’t want to remind people that they’re out of work, especially the communists. The "community garden" was out, too, because we don’t have much land to spare.
Then there was the financial education class, where you partner " with a local credit union to teach a class on financial education and to answer library users’ questions on what they can do to improve their finances in tough economic times." That sounded very dreary. Besides, the answer is obvious. Work more or consume less or both. Or, given the theme of NLW, they could move into a commune. That would help with finances. Sanity, no, but finances, yes.
But none of those is very celebratory in the way we like. Basically, if there’s no call for big band jazz and cocktails, then why how celebratory can it be? I want some Harry James and some martinis, and I want them now.
So we started with a variation of #3. "Sock-hop for Socks- Have a 1950’s sock-hop at your library, entrance fee is one pair of socks or an article of clothing that will be donated to a local clothing depositor." I didn’t think I could stomach a 1950s sock hop, and since I’m the director I get to make the decisions. Sock hops are for children, and we have enough infantile behavior by librarians already. That and I didn’t want to deal with a bunch of socks.Yuck.
Instead, we staged a 1940s nightclub with a jazz band and cocktails. Success? You betcha! Or at least so I was told. I don’t remember much of the night myself, but I do look great in the pictures. The entrance fee was a cocktail snack of choice, with the leftovers to be distributed to the communists, who based on their dress probably need the food.
We also held a potluck dinner, figuring what could be more communist than a potluck. I’ve never seen more vegan meals in my life. No wonder they don’t have the revolutionary energy they used to have.
We decided we needed something more for the communists as well, to show how they thrive @ the library. That Che Guevara person always seems popular with them, so we put up a big poster of him we bought at the Communist Paraphernalia Superstore and Bargain Hut. Then we wrote "READ" on it in sheep’s blood. I hope they appreciate the effort.
Unless they’re tenured professors, communists usually don’t have much money, so of course they come to the library for their infotainment needs. We highlighted that with big display of books and media communists would like. We found an old copy of the Communist Manifesto, a VHS tape of Reds, and a Woody Guthrie LP. Radical rhetoric and antiquated technology should take them back to the heady days of the Soviet Union!
All in all, a fun week. We danced and drank the night away. And we did our best to show how communists thrive @ the library. That’s important to know in these troubled times.