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Inside Annoyed Librarian

The Twopointopian Dream Job

Job Posting: Frivolous Technologies Librarian (Annoyed Librarian Flea Library and Infotainment Center)

Description: The Annoyed Librarian Flea Library and Infotainment Center (AFLIC) has an immediate opening for the newly created position of Frivolous Technologies Librarian. The AFLIC seeks a dynamic, enthusiastic, charismatic go-getter with healthy teeth and no unsightly rashes.

The Frivolous Technologies Librarian will join our Library Technovangelist to create an absolutely state of the art waste of space. S/he will be allowed to spend vast resources desperately needed elsewhere on frivolous technologies that no one else in the library will ever use, including the patrons.

Sample Duties: Purchase multiple iPads and experiment with them in the Frivolous Technology Center (formerly known as "the basement"). Create a library blog no one will ever read, aFacebook fan page no one will ever join, and a Twitter account no one will ever follow. (Other libraries have been doing these things for years, and theAFLIC is trying to make a concerted effort to catch up with them.)

This would be the perfect job for people who are fascinated by shiny new objects but cannot afford them on their own. This could include either infants or certain species of librarian.
 
Required Qualifications: An ALA-Accredited MLS or some equivalent (MLIS, MS, MSW, M.Ed,BA, BS, AA, Ed.D, GED) or not. The ability to identify the absolutely latest frivolous technologies and purchase multiple quantities of them. The ability to spend countless hours on social networking sites and call it "work." A demonstrated ability to waste time and effort on useless failures. A demonstrated inability to assess the impact of anything on the library and its mission. Healthy teeth.

Preferred Qualifications: A cheery personality. Clever, but not too bright.

Salary and Benefits: The salary will not be competitive, but think how exciting it will be.  The benefits should be obvious. Which would you rather have:healthcare or lots of shiny new toys?

The ALFLIC: The Annoyed Librarian Flea Library and Infotainment Center is a dynamic thing situated in a particularly cheery corner of the Internet, where martinis flow like water. It has a massive collection of frivolous books, magazines, DVDs,CDs, and other stuff.

The AFLIC is an equal opportunity employer that encourages women and minorities to apply for its jobs. Because there aren’t enough female librarians.

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Comments

  1. JohnDoe says:

    Where can I apply?

  2. Real Librarian says:

    I want the AL to come work at my library.

    We don’t cotton to technology.

    The AL could be in charge of all the books we receive. Plus all the cataloging cards that have to be written out (I am confident that the AL has the perfect library hand), filing the cards, and making sure that the local papers get put onto their proper spindles.

    Hours are great too, we are open Monday through Friday, 9 am to 4 pm. If you need our services, you need to make time for us.

    Send us a resume AL and we will compensate you properly.

    [AL: I *do* have the perfect library hand.]

  3. Miss Anne Thrope says:

    Beautiful! I actually worked in this academic library until my function as the lone howling voice of reason became utterly untenable…and I have never looked back.

  4. Real Librarian says:

    You are hired, AL!

    Just remember that if you want to keep up your blog, it will be done on your own time, with your own computer, and with your own Internet connection.

    Give a call when you want to start!

  5. Mr. Kat says:

    Now that you have teased the iPad out into the open…how do you really think the iPad is going to impact the future of libraries in the general community?

    If anything, I forsee libraries running out and buying user copies of digital media that can be displayed on both iPads and the internal computers. But this does not do much for taking a book home like in the old days. And now you would have people sititng on computers reading novels, instead of using hte computers for what they are more capable of doing, navigating the mindless slush that is internet media, email, et al. I do like a lot of the mindless slush too, hence why I do mindless slush on the ocmputer and then read books at home where I no longer have internet service. At this point it is a choice I have come to enjoy.

    Looking forward to a future blog about the iPad.

  6. ElderLibrarian says:

    Dear ALFLIC: Is the pay regular if I work regular?

    [AL: This is a non-paying position designed to give you valuable work experience.]

  7. Dances With Books says:

    Where can I apply? Actually, the sad thing is, with some minor modifications, that description is one I have seen in a few places.

  8. James T. Corvus says:

    “The AFLIC is an equal opportunity employer that encourages women and minorities to apply for its jobs. Because there aren’t enough female librarians.”

    So, by your snarkish comment here, there are too many minority librarians too? For shame.

    And in Obama’s America too.

  9. Simon Kentle says:

    Just remember that if you want to keep up your blog, it will be done on your own time, with your own computer, and with your own Internet connection. Even though I now work for schieldenver.com

  10. Cynthia Douglas says:

    Since I work for peanuts right now, I assume this job will be a much needed leg up in my career. I have all the qualifications including a BA, healthy teeth and no unsightly rashes!

    Shiny new objects distract me like a puppy and I have time and again demonstrated a superior inability to assess the impact of anything on the library and its mission.

    I’ve been told I can fake a cheery personality and since I am very clever, but not too bright… I believe I am a perfect fit for this job.

    I’ll start tomorrow morning. Please have a handy supply of peanuts in lieu of pay.

  11. Post Postmodern Librarian says:

    Wow i hope this job stays open till after June when I have my operation to get my teeth fixed. This really makes all the pay worth while

  12. Ideefixed says:

    You forgot that anything displayed on the iPad needs to be printed out, in both regular and large-type editions, for patrons/staff who are Apple-phobic.

  13. WorkingStiff says:

    This posting is so 2009. Even the 23-thing library (Charlotte blah blah blah) is laying people off. SOMEBODY has got to work the public service desks. Yep, the “library of the future” has arrived, and it’s rapidly closing branches.

  14. sdlibrarian says:

    WorkingStiff has got it right. We’re running a circus here of 23 things and no one has time for a desk shift to do the real service the “customers” demand. The library of the future will take us all down the tube.

  15. Why O'Ming says:

    Why is this a blog?

    It should just be a column put out once (twice?) or so a week where everyone can read and get the great wisdom of the AL and then they can ruminate on it on their own time.

    Comments can be made at individual libraries by individual librarians to other librarians during their breaks.

    Huzzah and hooray for the great AL.

  16. Nerdista says:

    I think attitudes like this are exactly the reason libraries might fail. Resistance to new technology, and frankly, to new adventures is death to libraries. I work with so many people at my library/libraries who think this sort of thing is wasteful. I couldn’t disagree more. Where’s the sense of exploration? Where’s the open mindedness? It’s quite sad.

  17. Nonsense says:

    Nerdista – my library has a very large, glass-enclosed area that contains two computers. It is rarely used. But books are culled because there is “no room for them.”

  18. I Like Books says:

    Nerdista,

    Some technology is appropriate in libraries, like internet stations, digital databases, digital materials popping up in catalog searches, and downloadable audio books. That doesn’t mean EVERYTHING should be adopted! For instance, it seems that nobody actually cares whether libraries have Twitter or Facebook accounts. And it would be too soon to toss the DVD collection and start buying BluRay, because not enough library users can use BluRay disks.

    Libraries should adopt APPROPRIATE technologies, not all of them. And in some cases, libraries SHOULD lag the leading edge.

    Contrary to popular opinion, a failure to immediately jump on every new technological bandwagon doesn’t make a librarian a technophobe or the library doomed to failure. Don’t fall for logical fallacies like “Everything or nothing!”

  19. Bill says:

    Good article. There’s no good reason for a library to have a Twitter or Facebook account.