Job Posting: Frivolous Technologies Librarian (Annoyed Librarian Flea Library and Infotainment Center)
Description: The Annoyed Librarian Flea Library and Infotainment Center (AFLIC) has an immediate opening for the newly created position of Frivolous Technologies Librarian. The AFLIC seeks a dynamic, enthusiastic, charismatic go-getter with healthy teeth and no unsightly rashes.
The Frivolous Technologies Librarian will join our Library Technovangelist to create an absolutely state of the art waste of space. S/he will be allowed to spend vast resources desperately needed elsewhere on frivolous technologies that no one else in the library will ever use, including the patrons.
Sample Duties: Purchase multiple iPads and experiment with them in the Frivolous Technology Center (formerly known as "the basement"). Create a library blog no one will ever read, aFacebook fan page no one will ever join, and a Twitter account no one will ever follow. (Other libraries have been doing these things for years, and theAFLIC is trying to make a concerted effort to catch up with them.)
This would be the perfect job for people who are fascinated by shiny new objects but cannot afford them on their own. This could include either infants or certain species of librarian.
Required Qualifications: An ALA-Accredited MLS or some equivalent (MLIS, MS, MSW, M.Ed,BA, BS, AA, Ed.D, GED) or not. The ability to identify the absolutely latest frivolous technologies and purchase multiple quantities of them. The ability to spend countless hours on social networking sites and call it "work." A demonstrated ability to waste time and effort on useless failures. A demonstrated inability to assess the impact of anything on the library and its mission. Healthy teeth.
Preferred Qualifications: A cheery personality. Clever, but not too bright.
Salary and Benefits: The salary will not be competitive, but think how exciting it will be. The benefits should be obvious. Which would you rather have:healthcare or lots of shiny new toys?
The ALFLIC: The Annoyed Librarian Flea Library and Infotainment Center is a dynamic thing situated in a particularly cheery corner of the Internet, where martinis flow like water. It has a massive collection of frivolous books, magazines, DVDs,CDs, and other stuff.
The AFLIC is an equal opportunity employer that encourages women and minorities to apply for its jobs. Because there aren’t enough female librarians.