Annoyed Librarian
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Inside Annoyed Librarian

Denver is My Oyster

Woo hoo! I’m here in the Mile High City gearing up for the ALA Midwinter Meeting. Appropriately enough, on the flight out yesterday I joined the Mile High Club, which might be a first for a librarian.

I haven’t been to Denver in years, maybe since that ACRL conference was here a few years ago. Can’t remember the year. Anyway, it’s been a while. And I’m happy to report that it’s just as small and dumpy a "big city" as it used to be, and that it’s still a major pain to get from the airport to the city. I have a question for these cowboys out here in Colorado. Trains to the airport: ever heard of them? Amtrak? Subway? Metro? El? Something? And if you haven’t heard about them, have you ever considered moving your airport adjacent to the city so the cabs weren’t so damned expensive? Ever considered that? I swear, does anyone outside the coasts and Chicago know how to run a city? Sure, they have a train inside Denver, but Denver is about the size of a postage stamp. It hardly needs a train.

Now that I’m here, the world is my oyster. I might go to the ALA/ERT Author forum about "Women of Mystery." There’ll be some female mystery authors there. I haven’t heard of any of them, but I read an Agatha Christie novel once and thought it was pretty clever. Besides, it’ll be a refreshing change from the usual politically charged speakers the ALA likes to bring in. In fact, looking at the list of "special events," it seems the only remotely political one is a talk by a guy who won the Nobel Peace Prize for microlending in poor countries. I’d say that’s considerably more of an accomplishment than any ever made by political posers in America who seem to think they’re courageous for saying George W. Bush stinks. Another lecture is by a guy who wrote a book about dead soldiers and their families. That might be construed as political, but could be up for grabs by both sides. Regardless, I’ll avoid that one as it sounds really depressing.

And I want to avoid depressing, because at ALA it’s party time, librarian style! I’ll have my usual ALA Conference Report sometime next week or the week after, but for now all I can think of is my social calendar. Several nights of gustatory bliss, if such can be achieved in Denver. It’s no New Orleans, after all. Considering this is cow country, or at least a lot closer to cow country than where I live, I’m assuming somewhere in town will serve a good steak. Maybe there’s a restaurant that just herds the cow up to the table and slaughters it there. Feel free to give me some recommendations. And if I had to live in Denver, heavy drinking would be high on my agenda, so I’m also assuming there are some good bars out here. Martinis may be out, as I’m not sure mountain folk know how to make a good martini. Cowboys drink whiskey, though, so maybe they know how to make a Manhattan.

So while I’m trying to enjoy my few days of eating, drinking, and socializing known as a "conference," I hope you all are having fun as well. For those Annoyed Librarian minions at the conference, we’ll meet at the AL Happy Hour. You should already have the details by now. Drinks are on you.



  1. one man and one woman says:

    The Colorado legislature has continued to ban gay marriage so they obviously know how to run a state.

  2. I called up my friend LeRoy on the phone
    I said, Buddy, I’m afraid to be alone
    ‘Cause I got some weird ideas in my head
    About things to do in Denver when you’re dead–Warren Zevon

    Another thing to do in Denver when you’re dead is attend ALA. And, yeah, try a Manhattan instead.

  3. Have a great time!

  4. librarydude says:

    We don’t care.

  5. AL, before you can expect librarians who matter to care about your socializing, you need to establish whether or not you’re hot. Yeah, yeah, you’re clever, witty, snarky, pretentious, blah, blah, blah. We know all that from your blog. Yeah, yeah, you have that bartender dude, but whatever…he works for you. The real litmus test of whether or not your social life matters is whether you’re hot. Since you hide behind your psuedonym, that means we don’t know whether you’re hot which means, in turn, that you’re only blowing smoke at this point.

    I guess it keeps some people entertained though.

  6. impartial observer says:

    You, for example.

  7. There’s a bus that runs from the airport to the city and back. It’s pretty convenient, actually.

  8. AL, before you can expect librarians who matter to care about your socializing, you need to establish whether or not you’re hot.

    She’s a librarian. There’s your answer.

    {~I’m Kat!}

  9. Librarians are hot!

  10. I admit that the airport is inconvenient, but really, stooping to making cracks about cowboys? You sound moronic. Denver is a City with a metro population of 2.7 million people. Get real. Use your snarkiness for issues not cheap shots at city’s who don’t happen to be on the ravaged east coast.

  11. Just about any place west of the Mississippi River is OK with RoboGod. Just about any place east of the Mississippi River … sucks. Thank the gods for freedom of choice!

  12. Leela’s makes a mean burger (try the Tex Mex) and has tasty brews on tap. Only about 2 blocks from the conference center too–on 15th in between Champa and Stout. Went there a few years back during SLA’s annual.
    Have fun.

  13. one woman and one dog says:

    Denver? Is that where John Denver is from?

  14. Friendly Neighborhood Librarian says:

    The ‘mile-high city’ has oysters?

  15. one man and one right hand says:

    I heard there’s some really good copping spots in Denver. I’m envious of you, AL. Here’s it’s just low-grade C.

  16. impartial observer commented: “You for example.”

    Yes, mildly.

    The snarkiness from the comments (e.g., yours) is actually more entertaining than AL’s social life.

  17. Mountain Man says:

    @Friendly Neighborhood Librarian, never heard of mountain oysters???

  18. Annoyed More Often Than Not says:

    You’re not the first librarian to join the mile high club. I don’t have a good reputation for nothing.

  19. I’m calling B.S. on both of you. Nobody here joined the Mile High Club. Much less the AL.

  20. self pleasure says:

    If your hand is your partner, does that count?

  21. milehighnewlow says:

    The only way AL could join the mile high club would be if it was all in her mind or her hand.

  22. westisbest says:

    “Just about any place west of the Mississippi River is OK with RoboGod.” Right on, cylon brother!

  23. geography major says:

    Technically, Siberia is west of the Mississippi River.

  24. Frustrated in Midwest says:

    Please,please, please as little as possible of the gushing over going to a conference. Some of us have to work not run off to ALA twice a year.

  25. BeenAround says:

    I’ve lived in Denver, CHicago, Dallas, Houston and St. Louis.

    Denver is a ‘big town’ with the most small minded, pretentious posers I’ve ever encountered.

    The motto sums up as ‘We’re bigger than anything in WY!’

    Think about that.

  26. one man and one woman says:

    Notice how most of the gay marriages take place west of the Mississippi?

  27. one Mark and one Jesus says:

    The Denver Broncos couldn’t beat a dead can of Coors with a baseball bat.

  28. Denver, not city says:

    Finally, so glad the truth on Denver is out! Rumour: Oh come to Denver the mountains are wonderful. What an hour away? Then they are not in Denver. The downtown sad, the food ok in a few spots better.

    Horrible place for a conference after 2 days there is nothing to do in the “city”
    2.7 million including the surrounding areas, which is about a 1/3 state does not make it a city….

    And get a train going to and fro airport. Denver was a horrible experience, but for those who did not come California, they found Denver quaint and charming. I know what a city is, Denver is not.

  29. one womyn and one woman says:

    I agree Denver, not city: the place is for hacks and granola eating rubes. The only good thing about Denver is the drugs.

  30. This is becoming extremely dull.

  31. one doggie and one kitty says:

    If my horoscope is right, I think you’re correct, Brian.

  32. Jeez – why the vitriol against Denver? You took a taxi to town? There’s a bus and several vans. I found it easy to get to town from the airport. Also, isn’t Denver about twice the area of Boston? As for being able to run a city: When was the last time a crane (NYC) or public works project (Boston) killed someone in Denver? Anyway, it sure beats Anaheim.

  33. I’ve been here a few days too and I was bored with Denver as soon as I got to the hotel. I did find a decent restaurant–Osteria Marco, on 15th and Larimer.

  34. one man and one woman says:

    I’d rather live in a trailer park in Pine Bluff, AR than even step one foot into Denver, CO.

  35. Britney Spears says:

    What’s wrong with trailer parks?

  36. amonynous says:

    Trailer parks are fine, but only if they’re not located in Pine Bluff, AR.

  37. Paula Dean says:

    I like to eat peanut butter but people keep telling me to look out for Sal Manilla. Who is this guy?

  38. kudzuhomecomingqueen says:

    “Trailer parks are fine, but only if they’re not located in Pine Bluff, AR”

    I’ve been to Pine Bluff. We call it Pine Bust.

  39. ” Anyway, it sure beats Anaheim.” at least you can get to the beach in 15 minutes or less when in Anaheim…not to mention there are many good and/or fun places to visit and dine (and I am so not including disneyland in this comment)! Also, if denver is such the pits, then you might just as well have stayed home, except I’m sure that you are most likely getting paid to be there and “comped” most all of your expenses! Ungrateful, you are.

  40. one man and one nam says:

    I better have been comped to even have to lower myself to such a beastial level as to have to endure a no good convention in a no good city. A, you’re so pollyanna!

  41. I always feel sorry for all you people that have to constantly have something to do, or some place to eat. You are all really afraid to slow down. You are afraid you might have to think. You might have to find things about yourselves that you don’t like, so you compensate by filling you life with “doing”. Life ain’t about going places and doing things and having stuff. Those of you who just have to live in a big city so you can’t get bored are already dead, you just haven’t stopped running long enough to understand that. The mountains rock. Peace and quiet is happening. Live it.

  42. Why does this blog keep double posting? Was the code written by some junior high kid? It’s embarrasing.

  43. Denver, too much city says:

    “I’ve lived in Denver, Chicago, Dallas, Houston and St. Louis. Denver is a ‘big town’ with the most small minded, pretentious posers I’ve ever encountered. The motto sums up as ‘We’re bigger than anything in WY!’ Think about that.” I’ve lived in Denver, Chicago, Amsterdam, and Madison, WI. I grew up in Southwestern Colorado (Ridgway) and we thanked god we weren’t in any city especially Denver. However, after living 10 years in the Chicago area I know I’d live almost anyplace but there again. Yuck. Traffic there and Denver sucks big time. And no one is more unfriendly and snobby than people in Lake County, IL. Best place was Madison. I also like Des Moines so you can all pick on that now. Farmers, blah, blah, blah.

  44. Vegans For Meat says:

    Basically, anybody who does not live in NYC is worthless. Denver is probably one of the worst cities to live in, but it beats having to live among self-righteous tree huggers who live for that Rocky Mountain High and like to condemn those who differ from their enlightened points of view. I’d rather live in a vermin infested tenament than even live next door to “me too”

  45. mr. worthless says:

    “Basically, anybody who does not live in NYC is worthless.” I’ve met plenty of people from NYC and frankly few of them seemed that worthwhile. And by the way, none of my friends were tree huggers or self-righteous. Definitely, enlightened, however.

  46. Denver, too much city says:

    Dear vegans for meat: I guess you’ve proved me wrong about nobody being more unfriendly and snobby than those in Lake county, IL. People from NYC are definitely right up there with them.

  47. Cindy Brady says:

    Oysters are gross! Yucky!

  48. Vegans For Meat says:

    Ha! I fooled you, Denver. I’m not from NYC nor have I ever lived there. Sorry.

  49. Denver, too much city says:

    Guess you did. But I now live someplace none of you knew existed. The mythical land of Nebraska. And not Omaha either. I used to drive through at top speeds. Now, I’ve found I like it. And I can visit relatives in Colorado or Iowa anytime I like.

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