Annoyed Librarian
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Inside Annoyed Librarian

Follow Your Heart, and Don’t Be Negative!

Okay, let’s see if we can get this blog going again. My retirement has been great fun, but now I’m eager to "leap into the fray"!

You what annoys me? Those people who complain about problems all the time but never offer any solutions! I have a solution to this problem, though. They should just shut their great bigpieholes. Am I right?

We see librarians like this all the time. Just take a look at those unemployed librarians complaining all the time about not having a job. They think they were lied to or something. Well, maybe they were, but that’s just water under the bridge.

You know what, though? I have a solution to that problem. If you don’t like being unemployed, get a job! There are plenty of jobs around. You could be the Director of the Tallahatchie County Libraries in Charleston, Mississippi for $28,000 a year. If you haven’t applied to that job and been rejected, you shouldn’t complain so much. An added perk to employment would be having an excuse to say "Tallahatchie" a lot.

And what about those people complaining about Internet pornography in public libraries? There’s an easy solution to that one: stop going to public libraries! They seem to think librarians should do something about it, but they don’t realize that librarians like pornography. That’s why there’s so much librarian porn out there. Those naked women in buns and glasses with shelves of books behind them are real librarians, so deal with it.

Who else is always complaining…let’s see…I saw someone the other day complaining about Ebsco. You don’t like Ebsco? So don’t buy stuff from Ebsco! That solves that problem.

I also get annoyed by librarians who are negative instead of being positive and cheery all the time. Those negative nellies haven’t realized that if you smile the world smiles with you, and that if you just direct your feet to the sunny side of the street and never worry, then you can be happy.

The solution to that problem? Xanax! It worked for me! It’s worked for lots of librarians, and now they’re sunny and happy and grin at us a lot, which makes us sunnier and happier.

I saw a talk recently that really inspired me. The person said to encourage your heart. And follow your values. And a few other things I don’t remember because I was too teary-eyed with inspiration to jot them down.

Here’s a life lesson for you that will take you a lot further than being negative and stuff all the time. Be positive! As a very wise person once said, there are no problems, only opportunities for solutions. Keep that in mind and maybe you won’t annoy me so much.



  1. Glenn@BLK says:


    I work directly with public daily. The work, fantastic; the results, beneficial; the need obvious. Always been well-paid for my efforts, no doubt. They paid for my education, too. Thanks, beloved public. I try to justify the investment every single day.

    For the industry, things are going to be tight for a long time; hard to change jobs or retire when things are so up in the air. I feel bad for young folk of any profession looking for work, we all know the jobs aren’t there. Thousands of new workers enter the workforce each month with little prospect for decent employment. That will continue for years to come. “Natural unemployment” will rise to 8 or even 10 percent.

    Libraries will matter for the rest of our lives,but we need to focus our resources better, the funding should never going to be taken for granted again, deflating tax returns threaten us all.

    But, we do not have to be entertainment centers to survive. Libraries put way to much effort into services and entertainment easily attainable elsewhere. Too much fluff. We tax and then compete with the same tax base.

    Lets make the correct choices. And hope for net neutrality to win out in the long run; corproate control of the information industry is a direct threat to our very Republic.

    Glenn Storbeck
    U of W, GSLIS, ’96

  2. smart alex says:

    Whenever my hubby goes to give blood, I always tell him, “Don’t B negative, B positive!”

  3. You are so ironic!

    This piece almost seems like it was produced on a random AL generator.

  4. haha — Just as I figured. The created character, AL, has too big an ego to actually call it quits.

  5. I guess the Library Journal did put someone else into this slot. Of course writing this blog requires the use of a madlib book.

  6. What a shame your resignation would have been…

    I’ve just interacted professionally with my first 2point0pian, who was a brittle and over-bright about the smile as school district functionaries were in the early ’90s. (Remember “Continuous Improvement?”)

    He texted a reference question and explained to us that the answer would come back as a text. “Isn’t that kewul?” he said. (Long, deep silence. I fell from potential grace as surely as Icarus fell from the sky.)

    What is kewuller about text, as distinct from email, a phone-call, a package through the mail?

    You know what is *really kewul*?

    Getting a courteous and factual and comprehensive answer to any question you might want to ask, from a complete stranger.


  7. Geoffrey says:

    I gotta go with “AL=??” on this. This post doesn’t read ANYTHING like previous posts. It was snarky before, but usually well-written. This is just bad, like a college newspaper humor columnist. Whoever is behind this, it’s time to give it up…

  8. Ever Searching says:

    Thank goodness I’m not the only one who thought this AL post was odd. Either the REAL AL has been replaced by a wannabe or else AL didn’t get enough rest. It’s not that we like AL’s cynicism, it’s that we respect her depth of experience and absolute ability to say what we think but get riduculed for saying out loud in our institutions or in “liberryland.” Much of that clarity of thought and depth of expression was missing in this post.

  9. a) All AL blog posts are at least well written.

    b) This blog post was banal and not written well at all.

    c) Therefore, this blog is a socialist plot.

  10. ConfusedByItAll says:

    A week without writing practice, maybe?

  11. Sure, it’s probably a different person. AL, a created character with a big ego that will go on and on. After the various contributors to this ego retire, or die, maybe we’ll find out who they were. One at a time a new AL, the only AL, the true AL will be revealed. Yep. When it starts raining pigs and noodles.

  12. You what annoys me?

    Did AL have a stroke? or did AL accidentally the whole verb?

  13. The New AL (or AL2.0) is rather different from that old girl who we were all used to. this first post is very much a first post. sadly, after glancing ensuing posts, they don’t appear to be much better than this one. o well.

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